One Step at a Time
by AnisaLee
Summary: Gap filler. Takes place after 3X14. Kurt and Blaine deal with the aftermath of what happened to David and Quinn. Strong talk of suicide and triggering themes.


Blaine set the hospital grade coffee on the table and slid it across to Kurt. They had spent the better half of the night waiting on news about Quinn. The call had come in sometime during the wedding and the message had been received after Rachel and Finn's ceremony had ended. Quinn's mother had left a hysterical message on Mercedes' voice mail, begging her to come to the hospital as soon as possible.

The hospital staff gave them a look when the entire wedding party hurried through the emergency room doors. They were met by Mrs. Fabray, who was trembling so hard that she had to hold on to a chair arm so she wouldn't sink to the ground. She had sobbed through the entire story that Quinn had run a stop sign and her side had been impacted by an oncoming truck. Paramedics believe that Quinn had been texting when she was hit as they had found her phone on the passenger seat amongst glass and debris. A half written text message on the screen.

"How are you holding up?" Blaine asked, reaching out to slip his hand into Kurt's.

Kurt shrugged, "They took her up to surgery hours ago. We should've heard something by now."

"Kurt –"

"Quinn's going to flip out when she finds out what happened to her car. She loved that thing almost as much as I love my Navigator," Kurt went on.

"Kurt, I know that you –"

Kurt took a long drink from his coffee, "Maybe my dad can fix it for her. I'll have to talk to him. See what the damage is. You know Frank at the shop? He's great with fixing body work."

"Kurt!" Blaine squeezed his boyfriend's hand, "Stop for one second. Tell me how you're doing. I know you went to see David earlier today," or was it yesterday? Blaine wasn't sure. "Kurt, was everything…okay with that?"

Taking a deep breath, Kurt focused in on his and Blaine's twined hands before his eyes filled up again. He quickly lifted his other hand to try and stop the tears threatening to fall when Blaine reached over the small table and brushed a gentle thumb across Kurt's cheek.

"Will today ever end?" Kurt practically whimpered.

Blaine smiled sadly, "I love you."

"I love you too," Kurt sighed. "I told David I cared about him."

"You did?" Blaine asked in surprise. "And do you?"

Kurt nodded, "I do. I know everyone probably thinks I shouldn't after everything he did to me. Maybe I shouldn't. I don't know. I just…Blaine, please tell me you understand."

"I'm trying," Blaine stated tightly, trying not to let his emotions spill out.

"It's just…I get it. Before I met you, I…Blaine, I…no one knows this, not even my dad. I was almost David," Kurt admitted quietly.

"What do you mean, you were almost David?" Blaine was afraid of the answer.

Kurt sighed, "I mean, I was just about to that point. I thought about how I would do it. I knew I didn't want my dad to find me hanging from my closet or the ceiling fan. So I thought of taking a bunch of sleeping pills and just going to bed. I went to the drug store a couple of times and found some over the counter stuff. I even got as far as picking them up and taking them to the checkout line. But every time, I couldn't go through with it. I'd drop the pills on the shelf and leave."

Gulping, Blaine looked deep into Kurt's eyes, "And then?"

"And then I met you," Kurt shrugged, "And I thought of my dad and Carole and even Finn. I just…I think I remembered what I was living for."

"Kurt, I –"

Kurt shook his head, "Blaine, you saw what happened to David's Facebook. You saw what they said."

"I also know he threatened to kill you and forced you out of McKinley," Blaine argued gently.

"I know," Kurt agreed, "I haven't forgotten that. I know what he did to me. I know how I felt and how terrified I was every time I saw him. Maybe I can understand him because I've felt what he's felt. I know you have too."

Blaine took a deep breath, "I want you to be safe, Kurt."

"Blaine, I keep thinking that if I would have just answered one of his calls, maybe he would have just stopped to think about it for a second. Maybe all he needed was someone to reach out to," Kurt sniffled.

"No," Blaine shook his head, "You cannot blame yourself for this. You didn't know and he had other resources. He could have called the Trevor Project or something. You cannot do this to yourself. Let's say you answered his call, what if he did it anyways? What would you think then? Would you still blame yourself? David has an illness."

"I know. I do. In my head I know that."

"You can't waste time on _what ifs_. We can only live our lives now. David is sick and he's getting help. Maybe he can start to heal now," Blaine brought his and Kurt's joined hands to his lips.

"I told him I'd help him. I'm hoping you will be there too," Kurt pleaded. "Despite everything he's done to me, how mean he's been… no one deserves to feel like that. No one deserves to be at that place in their life."

Blaine nodded, it was hesitant, but it was a nod. "I admire what you want to do Kurt, I'm just worried about you."

"I know," Kurt half smiled. "That's why I want to help David. I'm happy now. I'm at a place in my life where I like who I am and feel good about everything in my life. You, my family, my future. I asked David to imagine what he wanted his life to be today and he wants to be happy. I want him _to_ be happy because no one should ever have to feel like their life isn't worth living. Even someone who has made my life a living hell."

Blaine squeezed Kurt's hand again, "Okay. We'll help him."

They lapsed into silence for a few minutes before Carole came rushing into the cafeteria.

"Quinn's out of surgery. They're moving her to the ICU right now."

"Is she going to be okay?" Blaine stood up.

Carole sighed, "One step at a time boys. Quinn making it out of surgery is a big step. That's all we can ask for and all we can live for. One step at a time."

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A/N: If you are having a hard time, please get help. Reach out to a friend, family member, coworker, teacher, someone. Or call the Trevor Project. Please don't suffer in silence.

Please don't text and drive. No text message is worth your life!

Thanks guys! Please follow me on tumblr: anisaleefiction


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